Oh lordy, Olive was such a snugglebean this morning. When I woke up, she was curled up on my shoulder with her head under my chin. When I readjusted to cuddle J, she squeezed in between us like a little hotdog. Seriously, it was Christmas card cute. I guess she just needed a little Page family cuddle time after her upset tummy yesterday.

I love my family. I finally feel like I've found my place.

Today: will be writing copy all day long, then photographing, then photoediting. I'll either update late tonight or first thing tomorrow. 43 items, including my magical necklaces, more earcuffs, and lots of other pretty stuff.

Poor Olive kitty. She has had an upset stomach today. Has barfed twice. We are pretty sure she hasn't ingested anything out of the ordinary, as we've had our eyes on her pretty much 24/7, and when we're out, she's in a room that we have 100% kitty-proofed. It might be a stress thing-- we left her for more than an hour for the first time yesterday since Squeaky passed. So she's been getting extra lovin's today. She just got a dual mommy and daddy massage happily stretched out on her back. Seems otherwise fine-- not crying or indicating any other problem. One of my mom's kitties, Zoe, used to puke all the time as a kitten, and the vet's advice was to mix two tbsp. of rice and lamb wet food with her regular dry for a week-- as we're about to go shopping for the week, we're going to pick that up. It's nice to know that if I notice anything else out of the ordinary, I can walk her to the vet myself.

Today was a good one. Spent it doing makeup lessons for two of my friends, with a quick trip to Sephora. I, amazingly, spent NO money. Shocking. Am amused to note that Lush now offers a Flight of the Conchords-inspired massage bar, "Business Time." It of course warns to take off one's socks before use. I sniffed all of Yankee Candle's new fall offerings-- Moonlight Harvest was surprisingly gorgeous, but pretty much everything else was about the same as stuff they already have in their usual catalogue. Lakeside Birch was more or less slightly woody clean laundry, Be Thankful was Home Sweet Home, and the rest all smelled light slight variations on baking spices. Pretty, but not groundbreaking. I do, however, want their new luminary tealight and votive holders. Very, very botanical.

I promised to fully rapturize about meeting dangerdame last night, and so I shall. J and I spent the bulk of the day at a crab feast, so by the time I changed for the show, I was a) very glad that my hair hadn't completely gone frizzy, and b) the scent of Snake Oil covered up the scent of Old Bay. Wore gray slacks, a sexy black racerback tank, and my hot leather corset underneath a pinstripe vest. Happy about two more things: a) the titties were in top form, and b) my recent weight loss means that once again, my corset closes all the way and no longer makes me feel like a stuffed sausage. I smoked up my eyes with silver and felt pretty hot.

The show was a three-person act: sideshow by Albert Cadabra and burlesque by both Gal Friday (the reigning Miss Coney Island) and Veronica Varlow, fresh from an international tour with Emilie Autumn. All three performers were extremely entertaining-- I particularly loved Veronica's fans number, Albert's wookie-in-the-pants stripdance card trick, and Gal Friday's "Constipation Blues" humor piece. Who knew pooping could be so sexy? The only mark on the evening was an EXTREMELY DRUNK bridal party, who managed to spill booze on the stage twice.

Highlight: when passing out raffle tickets, Veronica recognized me and there was lots of squeeage. Jason was kind of whapped upside the head with her beauty, and I got to coo at him that pretty girls like me, neener neener neener. :) We stayed after the show for a little bit, and she gave me a kick ass tee shirt (which I will certainly photograph myself in, dear!) and we chatted about hijinks in Manhattan the next time we're up that way. SUCH a sweetie, and, if you can believe it, even more beautiful in motion than in photographs.

GREAT NIGHT. My only regret? I got no pictures.

And then we came home to Olive, who both wanted to play and puke on the carpet. Poor baby girl. We apologized for leaving her so long and she eventually snuggled up to me and went to sleep somewhere around 5 am. She just ate a healthy portion of dinner, so we'll see how it goes.

-- Olive was extra lovey this morning. She is also being SUPER vocal these days.
-- Went to Ashburn, VA for a crab feast hosted by Jason's cousin. I was introduced to a ton of his family. Also, I ate many crabs.
-- From there, we briefly dropped in on Kevin & Liaa.
-- Made a last minute descision to go to the Skullduggery and Skins show at the Palace of Wonders because dangerdame, the most lovely Veronica Varlow, was performing. She was most excellent and it was such a pleasure to meet her in person after years of email and LJ. More on this tomorrow-- I shall delay my raptures, because at present I have not enough time to do them justice.
-- Came home to a kitty who's all "WHERE DID YOU GO OMG YOU LEFT ME AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. OH WAIT, PET ME NOW PLEASE."

We went to pick up Squeaky's ashes this evening. It was hard. I cried a lot. I had a hard time even holding the box. We have a fully packed weekend, so we will likely do a Squeaky memorial early next week. Most of his ashes will be scattered in the nearby woods. A bit will be saved for a potted plant that will sit on our back stoop, so he can go with us wherever we go.

We're going to frame a picture of him and keep it by the door, so we see it every day. We're also going to buy a box and fill it with pictures, memories, and his favorite catnip mouse.

Thank you Anna and Brooke, your condolence cards were very appreciated. Thank you, Abby, for the donation in his name.

And now to finish the last parts of the update, dye my roots, and then get properly drunk on girly coconut rum.

-- Look for a new BOS. Nothing fancy, but I am partial to hardback, large durable styles. My auxilliary herb journal can be leather, and I have several of those. Went through my old BOS, which is about 175 pages long. Meditative exercise is right. Time to invest in new black pens. UniBall free-flowing ink ones are the best.

-- Spend some time making earrings. I am not stressing about this update, and I have had more than my fair share of stress lately. I need to be creative today.

-- Cry when I need to, and not feel bad about it. The words "you couldn't do anything" are finally sinking in, so I think I'm moving past denial.

-- Get some hair dye. I have an inch-thick tiger stripe down the center of my skull. I don't think I've touched my roots up in two months. Hell, I haven't worn makeup or done my hair in almost two weeks.

-- Send this week's orders.

-- Love up on my furchild. Since the loss of her brother, she's becoming a full-on lap kitten.

-- Catch up on True Blood. 'Cause I have INTERNET NOW.

One of the things I wanted most at this new apartment was to create good energy and a place that I can become more centered and focused on my own spiritual work. I don't know exactly what it was-- Dixie's considerable energy, my own clutter, the fact that my bedroom, office, AND altar were all jammed into one room-- but I could never properly get down to business at my old house. Jason and I are setting up the den here as a studio, and we talked about keeping clutter in there to a minimum in order to create a conducive working space. My altar will be in that room.

For my new altar, I basically want to start from scratch. Before, it'd always been sort of hodgepodge and never quite harmonious. I also want to get myself a little cast iron cauldron for incense and things that require a small amount of fire. I want to make a few of my own witch balls to decorate the windows. I need a proper mortar and pestle. I'm going to start keeping a BOS again-- while I was packing, I unearthed my first, which was written when I was about 20-- more than a log of workings, it was a knowledge database culled from all the books I'd read. Because I was Wiccan at the time, it has a heavily Wiccan slant. I am unsure if I should just buy a beautiful new leather BOS and start from scratch, or simply add a new volume to my old one. It might be a good thing for me to begin again-- I considered it a focused meditation at the time, which would be very helpful for me now, and I could also excise things which are unhelpful or simply not things I follow any longer.

Add to this my new interest in herbcraft and oilmaking. This is a new thing for me, and the more I create, the more I want to study. I'd definitely like to keep a separate log just for herbal workings.

So, a renewing time. Lots to think about. Might even propose a small witchy swap for those who are interested before my annual Care Package Swap starts. So, if you're interested, let me know.

Back online. Ethernet until J sets up our wireless network tonight.

It goes. Yesterday was better, but I still cried a few times. Olive continues to be stuck at my side any time she's not hiding under the bed. We've been watching her like a hawk. I have this nervous stomach that won't go away-- a stress reaction, I'm sure, but terribly unpleasant nonetheless. I feel a bit like a nervous wreck. There are cords all over from today's installation, and I'm going to try to keep Olive in a room with me as much as possible just to allay any fears she might chew on them until we can get them safely managed.

Now, to work. Must do photography this afternoon.

Did I miss anything this week that I should know about? If so, please let me know here.

Necropsy results came in. It was not electric shock, nor was it pneumonia. The only thing they found wrong with him was some fluid around his heart, and from that, they think he either had something very acutely viral, or that more likely, he had an arhythmic heart that simply didn't pump enough blood. The vet was in tears when she was talking to Jason, who completely lost it half way through the call. She told him that there is absolutely nothing we could or should have done differently. It is good that we know that nothing we did caused this, and even sadder that we couldn't have done anything to stop it.

We took Olive to the vet today-- Dr. Zumpano at the Pikesville Animal Hospital was absolutely fantastic and after hearing our story, checked her over very very closely. She got her first round of shots, too. The only suggestion he had for us was to get her feline leukemia test re-done when she goes in for a booster in 3 weeks... sometimes that can take a little bit to show up, so it's best to test twice, 60 days apart, if the kitties were feral. We're definitely going to do that before we adopt another little man.

Olive was so lovey today. I had cried four times during breakfast alone-- so much that I had to call zenmaster and blubber for about a half hour before I could calm down enough to actually eat. She strolled over to me, plopped down on my arm, and stayed there pretty much all day. If I got up for water, so did she. Very uncharacteristic for her, but I guess she needed me as much as I needed her. As soon as we got her home from the vet, she plopped right down on J and went to sleep.

Feeling calmer now. Still have my moments. Probably will for a long time. He was the best little kitty I could have ever have hoped for, and there really will never be another Squeaky. Thank you for all of the kind words. I'm sorry I can't respond to each one, but I still don't have internet access until Thursday, so I've only been checking in for about ten minutes a day. Any important emails or correspondence will be responded to on Thursday, I promise.

I will probably do a small update on Thursday or Friday. Here's to hoping.

I feel like I haven't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon. ( Less pleasant stuff. )

I'll sleep for a few hours here and there, wake up, force myself to drink some water, cry, then repeat the whole process. Had to pull myself together enough to go to the PO to deliver a rush order. Came to Dixie's, cried some more. The shock of the suddenness has abated, but not the expectation that he'll come chasing Olive out of a corner or something. When I fed her this morning, I broke down because he's usually the first to the bowl, and she was unsure about eating without waiting for her brother.

Olive is doing okay. She's usually the skittish one, and thoroughly Jason's cat. Last night, she slept in bed with us, curled up in my arms. She gave me good morning licks on the nose. She knows we're hurting. She's a good girl.

I miss my little Squeaker so much. Jason called him Squirtle. He was just so amazing. So full of love. There will never be another little kitty like Squeaky. Just Thursday, he was climbing me and hanging around my neck like a scarf. We loved each other so, so much. I miss my little man.

Squeaky passed from this life today at around 12:30pm. He was three months old.

When we woke up this morning, things were fine. He greeted us with his usual head-nudges and chin licks. Shortly after breakfast, I noticed that he was breathing heavily in Jason's lap. I picked him up, kissed him, and realized he was a little bit warmer than usual. Despite having a vet appt. tomorrow, we decided that breathing and possible fever were enough to warrant taking him to the animal hospital, even though he didn't seem in distress. He happily cuddled up to his sister and fell asleep, as usual.

We were at the hospital at 12:18. I took him out of his carrier, but as soon as I handed him to the vet tech, he went ballistic. Highly, highly unlikely for him. At 12:25, the doctor called us in. Jason hadn't even finished the paperwork yet. Squeaky's heart stopped the moment the vet picked him up, and they were unable to revive him. Both intubation and CPR failed to re-start his heart.

She said that there's nothing we could have done differently. That we did exactly what we should have done. She said that because he was feral, he might have been deeply inbred, and if this wasn't something very acute, it was very likely a genetic defect, perhaps his heart. They checked Olive. She's healthy as an ox. An autopsy is scheduled for Squeaky tomorrow, and we will be receiving his ashes.

To say we're devastated is a bit of an understatement. Jason and I haven't stopped crying. I very nearly had a full breakdown in the examining room. It was so -fast-. We never thought that it could be something so serious. We thought that maybe it was related to his cold, which he's been on amoxycillin for. We never thought that we'd never see him alive again, never get to hold or kiss him again. We sat with him, wrapped in a blanket, for a short while and told him how much we loved him. I'm sure he knew. He was a very happy kitty-- always purring and licking us and climbing over us.

Olive knows something's up. She's being extra lovey. We know that we're going to have to get her a companion kitty in a few months, but right now, we're understandably heartsick.

Our little bunny butt, who hopped instead of ran. Our squirt with the big pumpkin belly. His inquisitive looks. The way he'd always explore first. He was so lovey. He adopted us just the same as we'd adopted him. And now our family of four is now three.

I am sad beyond words.

-- No internet until July 9th in the new place. LE SIGH.

-- The winner of the latest round of Guess The Gemstone has been announced.

-- I have been working diligently on the intent pendants. A smidge worried because a friend posted necklaces from another seller that have pendant bits that look eerily similar. I might change up the bottles to something different just so it doesn't seem I am blatantly copying. In any case, three of the six are completed already-- two in sterling silver and one in copper.


L-R: Faerie Sight, Beauty & Confidence, Lust & Sexual Energy, Prosperity, Joy & Optimism, Peace & Comfort

( A few more random shots. )

-- Been feeling very centered lately. I tend to usually feel this way right around Litha, and by Lammas, I'd like to possibly do an open ritual with a local group. Yes, the solitary is thinking about joining a group-- it's an impulse I don't completely understand, but I've been being nudged to find a group and work in shared energy. But if I needed a final push, it was my weekly horoscope:

Virgo:: According to my projections, you will not, in the coming weeks, meet a dark, secretive stranger who'll play you like a violin. Nor will you be lured to the warehouse district after midnight to pick up the "missing stuff." And I highly doubt that you will be invited to join a cult that's conspiring to seize political power following the events of December 21, 2012. No, Virgo. Your fate is far more mundane than that. In fact, it's more likely that you will soon meet a bright, forthright stranger who will play you like an accordion. You will be drawn to a convenient location at midday to pick up the "missing stuff." And you will be invited to become part of a group that has the potential to play a significant role in your quest for meaning in the coming years.

I don't know if I have a tradition in mind. I don't consider myself Wiccan per se, but a Wiccan group, if it's the right one, is not out of the question.

-- Really nice bath yesterday. Used a Lush bomb found while packing... blue on the outside, but bright magenta on the inside so the water was grape-soda purple. Lots of bubbles. Reading in the tub is one of my favorite pleasures.

-- Teavana's Imperial White Peach tea? Oh my lord. So tasty.

-- Got an email from Flo, my ABQ dance teacher. I miss her bunches and am sad we had to leave so early.

-- J & I are buying a mattress tonight, hopefully. I am not looking forward to moving his big 'ol bed tonight. I need to see what he wants to move this weekend so I can fill offerers in. I think we're going to go on a hike on Sunday because I need to be outdoors.

-- New fishie, to keep Sake company. ( Meet Ginger. )

-- It's chilly again! July in MD and I need a sweatshirt! Brrrrr.

Alrighty. Off to order some amethyst, then it's back home and more work.

(Currently borrowing Dixie's internet while running errands.)

-- Anna & Agnes: looking unlikely that we'll move heavy furniture this weekend because of the holiday. It might just be shuttling a few personal things until next weekend. I appreciate the offer and will let you know when I'm ready.

-- Spent yesterday making my first six intent pendants: one for lust & erotic energy, one for beauty & self confidence, one for prosperity, one for faerie sight, one for joy & optimism, and one for peace & calm. Bottles were far smaller than expected, but I think these mini ones are cute anyhow. Turned out really nicely, and the energy raising session was really cleansing. Took practically all day! Making the chains today, then soaking them all in moonlight tonight (except joy & optimism, which gets sunlight). Pictures soon!

-- Note to self: get some cypress oil. Also ylang ylang.

-- Also made a few annointing oils for home use. Have a few empty bottles left-- if you'd like something particular, poke me and I'll see what I can do.

-- After a few test runs, I am thinking of making a limited run of energy-infused bath oils. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just hoarde to myself!

-- Kittens now have their run of the apt ('cept the bedroom until we have our non air mattress). They are all "WHEE" and running all over the place. It is amusing to watch. Their first multi-room living experience.

-- Waaaaaaaant internet. Need to catch up on True Blood.

Okay, back to the apartment. More jewelry to make!

Pics of the new apartment at Flickr...

Spent most of the day packing... got through about 1/3 of my possessions. And of those, I am keeping... 3 boxes of stuff. I had a ton of junk in there and about twice as much stuff to donate to Goodwill.

Tomorrow, I am working from the new apartment which does not yet have internet. Also I can't seem to find my cell charger, so... yeah, if I drop off the face of the earth, I'm fine. Promise. Wednesday, I'll be back at Dixie's for round 2 of packapalooza, in which I have to reach into the scary places behind my bookshelf where godknowshat has fallen. I anticipate an even larger trash pile than today.

As tedious and annoying as this is, I will have approximately 2/3 less stuff when I am done, which means I will have room for the stuff we desperately need, like cookware and kitchen pans. Furniture might get moved this weekend, but we will need help. Given that it's a holiday weekend, that might be hard. So, we'll see. If you're local and want to help me haul a big ass dresser down approximately 30 stairs, I'll be your bestest friend.

Oh, and, if I didn't say it before: I got to see my girls this weekend. The ones I never ever ever see, including Rac, who's been in London for two years. There was Apples to Apples and there was fondue, both of which were extremely welcome after being stuck in traffic forever and ever and ever and ever amen. We didn't make it to Tribal Cafe, which I am sad about, but driving any more very likely would have resulted in J falling asleep at the wheel.

Rac still needs to set up a Twitter. Like, for real. Telling us you're alive in 140 characters or less once a week or so is the lazy person's "I love you."

Okay, time to get today's load together for moving. Also, to call the vet and set Squeaky up an appt because his cold seems to have come back. He's got runny eyes. :(


XOXO,
Sweaty, tired, kinda bleary Christina

-- after nine hours stuck in traffic, back from NC
-- acquired: keys to new apartment
-- reacquired: one fish (sadly, Wasabi passed)
-- hugged: one long lost former roommate
-- eaten: lots of good fondue
-- kittens: enjoying keeping us awake all night
-- plans for the week: pack, pack, pack, move (again). Also about six commissions.

-- sleep level: ha ha ha. What's sleep?
-- stress level: somewhere up around the ceiling

J & I got up at the literal crack of dawn to see the sun rise over the beach. So pretty-- big atomic pink sun over turquoise water.

Trudged back home with the aim of throwing on our swimsuits and going back out because the water was bath-warm. Instead, we fell asleep cuddled up, with my head on his chest. When we woke back up, both Squeaky and Olive were also on his chest, and Olive was licking Squeaky's face. Not to be outdone, Squeaky turned around and started licking our faces. My nose is actually a little sore because a sandpapery kitty tongue is a little rough when applied to the nostrils.

It's amazing how the addition of two little furballs has really made us into a family.

Now, for for french toast, then back to the beach.

Pimp it far and wide!

http://sihayadesigns.blogspot.com

Since a lot of you wish you were at the beach right now, I have brought the ocean to you. Pop in the bath, close your eyes, and pretend:



The trip, so far, has been very nice. Delicious homecooked meals every night (tonight was spaghetti with meatballs, garlic naan, olives and asparagus), yummy fresh-baked cookies. With the exception of yesterday morning after the huge storm, the sea has been nice and even warm-- I've gone swimming for at least two hours every day. The kittens are acclimating well to being around lots of new people, and even their dogs as well. They're doing the cuddly "climb up in bed and purr" thing in the morning, and this morning we were woken by both little ones snuggling up to us instead of headbutting us for breakfast. I've been schnockered and surrounded by the laughter of friends every night.

Also, a few pics, and there are more at my Flickr.

( A few shots. )

Internet connection here is borked (story of my life, I know). I can very occasionally connect to a nearby network, but that connection is tenuous at best. If I disappear off the radar for a bit, that's why. Will still be updating Twitter from my phone, though!

Holy crap. Whenever I'm in DC, this is the line I use.

Check in and let me know you're okay, please.